Hello Cracked i peeps!
It’s been awhile since we did a blog for the show, so i don’t even know where to start! Not much has changed, Chris is still being as sexually dysfunctional in a work place as ever, we have many new additions to the show, some good, some bad (Galway Player, i’m talking about you!). Dave from http://rukkle.com/ still comes on a Wednesday night, and up until last night, i had been on an incredible winning streak on our Fake Celebrity News game since before Christmas, but because of Chris throwing his toys out of the pram, it ended in a draw last night. (I am currently seeking legal advice on this matter)
But lets talk about The Galway Player for a minute. He has been coming on the show on a Thursday night since just before Christmas. He is a guy that thinks he is God’s gift to women all over the world. The feedback from your texts indicate that you all LOVE to HATE him. Lads give out about him, but generally want to be him, and slowly but surely, women that listen to the show are being to be charmed by him. Ladies, don’t do it. I went on a date with him, and although he was the perfect gentleman, he played me with every trick in the Player handbook, lucky that i’m a pretty smart savvy girl, and not one to succombe to the “charms” of a chancer. (Well sometimes). Here is a link to his blog http://galwayplayer.wordpress.com/, he is also frequently on the twitter machine perving on young ones who happen to be socializing in Galway city https://twitter.com/#!/galwayplayer. I will let you judge for yourselves, he is back on tonight with us at 10pm, but i can tell you something ladies, he does NOT look like this.
There is something i would also like to clear up for those that are fans of The Cracked i and The Kanyu Tree. Every time we play a Kanyu Tree track on the show, Chris comes out and says “Here’s some interesting trivia that you might not know about The Kanyu Tree, Ciara has slept with every member of the band”! Now, firstly, the members of The Kanyu Tree are VERY talented, both musically AND in the looks department, and they seem like very sound lads, but unfortunately for me, this “piece” of trivia has not happened.Yet. I would like to take this opportunity however to thank Chris Greene and Dave O’ Conor from I Wake Up with Dave & Oonagh, for taking the time to TWEET The Kanyu Tree and tell them what was being said. That doesn’t make me look desperate at all! In fairness, the lads took it in good jest, which makes me love them even more! Am also loving their new single “Congratulations”. It was also GREAT news to hear that they are up for a Meteor Song of the Year Award for their song Radio, reckon we should all get behind them and vote for them to win, just incase they are tarnished by the idle gossip that Chris Greene likes to generate about them and me. Like the FB page and vote for “Radio” to win!
I’ll post the link for the video of “Radio” by The Kanyu Tree at the end of the blog.
So, what else has been going on, on the show. Well, there is one thing i have definitely learnt, and that is NOT to ring Chris Greene during the day. You may find that strange, but seriously, take it from me, it will save me a life time in therapy. He had recently admitted on air that on one occasion when i rang him, he was, lets say, “Enjoying himself” and continued to do so for the duration of the phone call. He then revealed all on air, and as you can imagine, i was disgusted and my mind was filled with images that i DID NOT NEED TO HAVE. I thought all of his tomfoolery was abating, but i thought wrong. Only yesterday i rang him to see what time we had a certain interview at, only for him to reveal to me, as he was talking to me on the phone that he was just out of the shower, and was standing there on the phone to me, naked. This is what my face looked like when he told me this on air last night.
There is a lot of you up at ungodly hours of the night listening to myself and Chris talk absolute shit until 1am in the morning, don’t get me wrong, thanks for listening, but we do talk an AWFUL amount of crap, if it is this that keeps you awake, then well and good, however, sometimes you people have very different, strange reasons for being awake, and its something that we like to know about, because Chris is THE MOST nosy person i know! In a little segment we call “Why are you awake”, we collect your bizarre reasons, and here is a selection of some of the texts we get in.
1.I’m awake because my husband is leaving me. t ( Man, that’s rough)
2.Were awake about to have sex listenin to ye (Ya, cause listening to Chris Greene is an aphrodisiac???)
3.I’m awake because i slept with my best friends boyfriend and i’m so scared she will find out (No, No, No!!!!You just don’t do that!)
4.Ciara in letterkenny here,i am still awake because i am listening to you two on the radio and chris u have the sexist voice in the world and i just wanna have sex with u.( Really Ciara, REALLY? You better check yourself before you wreak yourself gurl)
5..Im awake driving to the hospital because my wife went into labour..jack.galway ( Ah! A baby! This person will obviously name their child either Chris or Ciara, it makes sense)
6.I’m awake cause I’m on the way home from my friend with benefits ( Unless you are Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, this “situation” will not have a happy ending.)
7.im awake because i ate a sandwich and then played bongos on my stomach ( We’ve all done that right?…Right?!…Guys???)
8.Im awake planing how to give Ciara a baby. . . Fergal in roscommon (Hmmm, not quiet sure how this is going to work out Fergal…Are you trying to source one for me or what?)
9.Im awake because i love the sound of ciara’s voice , such a bure! P in Ballina ( Call me a bhure, and i am putty in your hands my friend, i’m THAT easy)
10.I’m awake wanking ( Yip, there is always one.)
Well, that’s almost it folks! Will be updating the blog more frequently in the future! Not because management want us to or anything, because we WANT to.
Before i leave you however, i need a personal favor for a good friend of the show!! Could everyone go onto this page on FB,https://www.facebook.com/clubisfamily?sk=app_210907355672341 Like the page, click on Vote here, click Footballer, and then vote for Senan Kilbride to win an AIB Provincial Player Award. He is a TOP bloke and a fantastic footballer, and if you do vote, i will get Chris Greene to shift every SINGLE one of you, to hell with it, i will shift each and everyone of you too! Thanks guys!
Also, myself and Chris Greene are are on the ole Twitter machine! You can find Chris here https://twitter.com/#!/SexyChrisGreene and you can find little old me here https://twitter.com/#!/iamciaraking
Laters Cracked i lovers!