Hello Cracked i peeps!
How goes it, on nearly the eve of this our festive Irish Day of celebration! Myself and Chris have had an interesting few weeks, if you have missed any of the shows ( SHAME ON YOU), i’ll give you a brief re cap of what’s being going on, on The Cracked i.
Firstly, and most alarmingly, it seems i have lost my mojo. It was my mojo that has made sure that i have won nearly EVERY Fake Celebrity News story that we play every Wednesday with the very lovely Dave Aylesbury from the FANTASTIC website http://rukkle.com/. Something strange has occurred to be honest, I’ve lost. Twice. which means of course that Chris Greene has won. Twice. I know what you all are thinking !HOW! I don’t know, i really don’t know, but I’m just asking you to keep me in your thoughts, so that next week, I can regain my position of amazing winner. I can’t take Chris winning again, he’s just too smug for my liking, and competitive! My god, you wouldn’t want to play a game of Monopoly with him! It would end in tears! My tears.
And then there is the Galway Player who comes on every Thursday to piss off the girls and guys of iLand. He is chauvinistic, misogynistic, sexist and somewhat funny when he wants to be. He has this inane ability to compare every relationship topic to football analysis, It’s uncanny. Most recently he managed to anger the majority of the women in iLand suggesting that they should play no part in Sport. ( No pun intended) Then there was The Leap Year, where he believed that NO women under no circumstances WHAT SO EVER should ask a man to marry them and then there was his commentary on International Woman’s Day. Boy oh boy. International women’s Day HAD to fall on a Thursday didn’t it. He thanked women for their involvement in the porn industry, page 3 girls, making houses look pretty and making nice sandwich’s. I kid you not. If you don’t believe me, you can check this guy out for yourselves. He has a twitter https://twitter.com/#!/galwayplayer and he has a blog where he puts up his mindless ramblings http://galwayplayer.wordpress.com/, tonight he will be on no doubt talking about yesterday’s Steak and BJ Day. I shudder to think how this will go down.
Here are a couple of other things that we have discovered on The Cracked i these past few weeks…
1. Chris thinks it is weird that i may sometimes on occasion go to Boots or a perfume shop and spray men’s aftershave on the cuff of my hoody or whatever clothing i happen to be wearing at the time, to be reminded of a certain males in my life. Chris finds this absolutely bat shit crazy! Alot of people were texting in agreeing with me, and then there were the few, both men and women who totally think i’m nuts.
2. People like to hug pillows when they are sleeping alone. Once again, Chris thought this was mental. Once again, a lot of people texted in to say that they do it, if they miss their respective partners etc. I think Chris needs to be hugged more himself.
3. A Little Bit Naughty our resident Female Galway Player has been on to give the ladies of iLand an indication on what to do to keep a man, lord knows us ladies need a little push from time to time. She has given out tips on what not to do when in a relationship, like, not being insecure, needy, TOO nice, TOO cool. You get the jist. She too is on Twitter https://twitter.com/#!/a_bit_naughty and has a VERY saucy blog http://naughtylittlesecrets.wordpress.com/
4. Hulk Hogan has a sex tape! Excitement!
5. There was a fake story going around that Prince William and Kate were preggers. It turns out not to be true. Sad face.
6. Chris introduced me to the concept of phone roulette, where you write a really rude message, scroll through your phone and send it to the first person you land on. I had to send a very quick explanatory text to one of my friends ex’s after i played phone roulette. Do yourself a favour and delete Aunts, Uncles, Mother in laws, father in laws and ex’s before attempting to play this game.
7.A turkey is traumatizing a family SO much in the USA that the story even made it into TIME. I kid you not. Down Turkey Down.
8. Ciara’s Diary this week was a St. Patrick’s Day Special, which involved playing the tin whistle at mass, being on a float driven by an old Ford Cortina with a load of old people and eventually being heart broken. It was like an episode of Home and Away.
9. Chris thinks the idea of homeless people in Texas being used as an advertisement for wireless internet is a disgrace. I beg to differ.
10. Chris was adamant that Steak and BJ Day is a glorious celebration of men, and that if females have Valentines Day, men should have Steak and BJ Day. I of course, beg to differ.
Exciting news! The Cracked i is on iTunes! I have been busy updating the podcasts for the day so hopefully they will be up soon. They include some vintage Chris and Ciara from back in the day that you may not have heard, also Dave & Oonagh, and Fergal have their podcast’s up there too, make sure and download the lot, and have a big iRadiofest! Here is a link to The Cracked i podcast’s! Just check them out on iTunes!
Will talk to you guys tonight!
I will leave you with this super picture to cheer everyone up!