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Work taking over your life? Here’s four ways you can fight back

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03:13 16 Oct 2018


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Don't let the all important work-life balance fall out of whack.

At this time of the year, it’s not uncommon to be feeling the strain.

Ten-months of hard work can take it’s toll, both emotionally and physically.

So, as we descend into shorter days and cold nights, it’s important that we take some time for ourselves in our everyday lives.

Continually prioritising work over our personal and family lives isn’t a healthy habit.

And while we do need to take our jobs and livelihoods seriously, we have to ensure we’re giving equal attention to our mental well being.

So if you can feel your 9-5 (or whatever hours you work) taking over your life, here are four ways you can fight back.

1. Unplug

Recently in Ireland, a worker was awarded €7500 over being expected to answer post midnight emails.

Solicitor Richard Grogan said the Labour Court ruling “will serve as a massive wake-up call to employers who expect employees to be available 24 hours a day seven days a week.”

The smart phone has revolutionised the way we work, yet it has also created expectations of constant accessibility. Meaning, the work day never seems to end.

If you’re paying more attention to your phone notifications than you are to the person attempting to talk to you, it may be a sign your work is holding your personal life hostage.

Luckily it’s an easy fix.

When you’re at home with the family or with your friends, put the phone and the laptop away.

The work emails will still be waiting for you in the morning.

Your emails will still be there in the morning!

 2. Perfectionism has no place

For many of us growing up and at school, getting perfect marks was a must.

And depending on your level of commitment it was relatively achievable.

But this is because at that time of our lives we don’t really have much else besides school to distract us.

There’s no bills or rent to worry about, no mouths to feed, no income or mortgage to stress about.

This means it can be unrealistic expecting your perfectionist school day traits to seamlessly transition into the work place.

Marilyn Puder-York, PhD, author of The Office Survival Guide once wrote: “As life gets more expanded it’s very hard, both neurologically and psychologically, to keep that habit of perfection going.”

She went on to explain that the healthier option is to strive not for perfection, but for excellence.

Words to live by!

3. Cut out time wasters

This one will take a bit of deliberation.

Firstly, you need to identify your priorities in life, the things you get the most enjoyment out of doing.

Then create some concrete time you can devote to this enjoyment, even if it means cutting back on other things you’ve been made to believe are important.

Again, that may mean turning off email notifications for periods each day.

Ask yourself, do you really get that much enjoyment from mindlessly scrolling through social media channels?

If the answer is no, maybe devote more time to things you ACTUALLY enjoy.

The same goes for spending time with people who seem to view your time as an extension of their own.

Your time should never be accosted by someone else, unless it’s someone you care about or willingly devote your time too.

Time is precious! Don't let someone else dictate yours.

 4. Time for a structural change

We all fall into ruts.

The mistake a lot of us make is believing they’re permanent. When in reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

Take a bird's-eye view of your life and ask yourself: What changes could make life easier?

If you’re someone who loves trying to do as much as you can for others, it can be stressful trying to please everyone all of the time.

Adversely, there’s little time left for you to enjoy yourself.

Delegating some of your tasks to a partner (eg. cooking dinner some nights per week) can give you back some time you didn’t even know you had anymore.

Stewart Freidman is a management professor at the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School and author of Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life.

And he recommends talking to the “key stakeholders” in different areas of your life.

This means employees or colleagues at work, or a spouse, partner or friend.

“Find out what you can do to let go in ways that benefit other people by giving them opportunities to grow,” he says.

This will give them a chance to learn something new and free you up so you may devote attention to your higher priorities.


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